Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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