dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Randomize
