there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
