Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
being pregnant is like rehab
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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