do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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