Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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