I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
