id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
