Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
