i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Randomize
