I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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