it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
