oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
