should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
