12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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