How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
