i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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