my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize