Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
