just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
