my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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