Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
