Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
