worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
