I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize
