I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
