So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
