Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize