your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm really busy with my period
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