That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
