This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
