Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
