it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
