I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My feet surprised me
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