Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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