i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
