Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
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We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
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Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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