you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
