his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
