sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
