There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
