yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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