Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we made out on top of his cat.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
