I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
