I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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