u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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