i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
