My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
