think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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