If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
