Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
