I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i dont even know how to be here
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
