And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
