I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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