she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He uses pillows to masturbate.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
