it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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