i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
