i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
