I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
