Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
