I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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