I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
