you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Randomize
