My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
