dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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