Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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